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Why did God give us Kudzu?

Yet another series from the "If God is so good, why did he..." theme:

Question: If God is so good, why did he give us Kudzu?
Answer: God has always tried to wake us up with strange phenomena with a symbolic meaning. Kudzu was intended to teach us about the dangers of our creeping sense of entitlement. That sense of entitlement, if we don't get it in check (and it will be difficult to check its progress, just like Kudzu), it will eventually overwhelm everything in our culture.

Question: O.k., wise guy. Then why did God give us HIV/AIDS?
Answer: He gave us HIV/AIDS to teach us about the dangers of a heretical fifth column in our midst. The nature of a fifth column is to infiltrate our social and political arteries, overwhelm our defenses (which are not equipped to recognize the foreign invaders) and eventually replace the DNA of our culture. That's the HIV part. Eventually we become easy prey to every aggressive interest group out there. That's the AIDS part.

Question: Uh, huh. So then why did God give us deadly bees, huh?
Answer: God gave us deadly bees to warn us about the dangers of the aggressive shock troops of the fifth column. Troops that can swarm at a moment's notice and overwhelm anyone in the populace who speaks out or otherwise draws attention to themselves. The weapon of choice of these shock troops is to swarm and overwhelm with stinging rebukes. These people are aggressive get-in-your-face types, and they're not the least bit afraid of invading and taking over territory where they've never been seen before. The result of these tactics is to paralyze the opposition with fear.

Question: Yeah, right. I tell you, I'm gonna get you with this one. Why did God give us West Nile Virus?
Answer: West Nile Virus is passed through the native mosquito population. This represents aggressive people who are the fifth column's useful idiots. As you know, mosquitoes grow and fester in standing pools of water. That's like the useful idiots that grow and fester in standing pools of money. These useful idiots are the main enforcers of political correctness. Their approach is to use biting sarcasm to attack your ideas every chance they get. Eventually you're afraid to venture out in public. With enough of them biting you in this way, you come down with a social virus that puts you to sleep. Then you're no longer a threat to the fifth column. By the way, can I interest you in a can of Off?

Question: So, why did God give us Swine Flu or Legionnaire's Disease?
Answer: Are you kidding? You really need me to explain those?

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